Triage

Hello lovely ladies of Falkirk Vineyard! My name is Moira and it turns out I’m also a blogger now! I think we have mentioned in previous blog posts how much some of us love a medical drama. I’m a big fan of Grey’s Anatomy and ER back in the day, maybe you like a wee bit of Holby City or maybe some Casualty? Maybe some of you are not a fan of medical dramas at all and have seen enough of the real inside of hospitals to last a lifetime.
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Something that all hospitals have in common (real or imaginary) is the use of triage when there is an emergency. People are split into categories depending on the severity of illness or trauma. I have realised that I use a triage system when it comes to the problems or issues in my life. The huge problems I take to God, I pray, seek His Will, ask others for prayer. I mostly have that covered. The small problems I keep to myself, Ok, so I know God knows them already even before they happen but I’m skipping ahead.

Let me give you an example: Christmas 2016 I was singing with a choir. I had been going to practices for weeks and we were a few weeks away from our performances. I came home from work one night and was feeling a bit overwhelmed, not the breakdown sobbing snotty type of overwhelmed but just the over tired I can’t work out how to fit everything in type. I thought I can’t do this choir thing, I’m just going to tell them I can’t do it. Now I pride (oof pride) myself on being a really reliable person who turns up when they say they are going to and all that stuff, I was really torn, however in the grand scheme of life it really wasn’t a big problem. In truth there were lots of people singing my part so they wouldn’t have missed me. I just wasn’t sure. I debated it for a while, called my mum, called a friend, I didn’t take it to God though, I thought it was too small and I didn’t want to bother Him?!?!?!?

I was going to small group that night and I thought maybe i’ll mention it. I didn’t say anything at prayer time, it seemed such a stupid small thing to mention. We had ministry time, the faithful, brave Megan Cormack (whom I didn’t know that well at the time and who didn’t know I sang in a choir) said she had a word for me. She wasn’t sure if it made sense but would tell me anyway. She said that she saw me standing on a stage alone with a spotlight on me, God wants me to know that He is listening to my voice, He wants to hear me…well that’ll do it, God had answered my question even though I thought it wasn’t worthy of an answer. He had searched me and knew me and loved me, even in the smallest problems in life He was my God. Do you want to know what the best part was? The whole time I was singing with the choir I knew God wanted me there, I knew He was listening. He blessed me beyond my expectations, He filled me up and gave me more than I had imagined.

I had triaged this problem. I had decided not to bother God with it because it was too small. Did I think He wouldn’t have the time?? Did I think He couldn’t be bothered?? Did I think He would say really? you again! I’ve got bigger issues to deal with?? I was looking at God through human lenses, I was missing the point.

“I pray  that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the Lord’s holy people , to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know that this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure is all the fullness of God.” -- Ephesians 3:17--19

We’ve got to try and grasp it, his love is all consuming, all knowing, unfathomable, unsurpassable and real. Grasp it with all you have. He loves you to the fullness of all that He is just as you are right at that moment. Don’t let go of that truth no matter how small you think the problem is, take all of it to Him.
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Finally, a huge shout out to Megan. She didn’t think what she had to say made sense but she said it anyway. God used her to bless me in ways I hadn’t imagined. If you feel like God has given you something to say just follow Megan’s example and go for it. What’s the worst that can happen ? If your worried about feeling silly just remember that top NASA scientists once asked a female astronaut if a hundred tampons were enough for a seven day mission!

Moira x